Whether we stride or shuffle our way to becoming wiser, our accumulated experiences shape and shift us. Here are some signs that you are closer to becoming a wiser, more authentic version of you.
1. When you have become intolerant of being the receiver of crappy behavior. You’ve learned to call people out, stand up for yourself, demand better, or walk away for good. And not just in a brutal, basic kind of way. You do it with finesse, those things called advanced social skills, and good eyebrows. Bravo.
2. When you get that you can not change other people, no, like you finally GET it. It’s never been about tighter micromanaging or articulating more effectively why you are right. It’s been about letting go, respecting other people’s journey, and giving them the mental space (we all want) to figure things out. People change if and when they want to, no exceptions. You can step off.
3. When you accept your parents and sibs for who they are, what they may or may not have done, and love them the best way you can. See #2.
4. When you believe it’s none of your business what others think of you. You’ve stopped guessing, projecting, caring, and investing in this distracting mind-fudgery. You’ve detached from needing others’ approval and it has freed your soul. You do you.
5. When you don’t scrounge for your positive strokes and affirmations on social media, because that’s just a little sad. First of all, fb likes aren’t real love, they’re posturing for a cyber persona. Plus #4.
6. When saying no starts to roll off your tongue like a guilt-free nightingale’s song. You do more of what you like and less of what you don’t, and it feels strangely like something they call freedom.
7. When you feel time is running out. If only we could live our entire lives so deliberately and aware of our mortality. This sense of urgency is a fantastic motivator to get on with all of it!
8. When you’ve exited heavily lob-sided relationships. You know the ones I mean, where you give so much more and almost always it’s about them, their stuff. You justify their narcissim by repeatedly saying they’re just going through something, right now. Or perhaps the friendship was based on some warm memories from long ago, but the connection isn’t positive in real time. Friendships are optional and should be mutually empowering and enjoyable. You’ve found your balls to end or tapper off the crappy connections, because they’re sucking the happy outta ya.
9. When being comfortable in your own skin becomes the comfiest, only place you want to live. A younger me resisted that I’m a natural introvert. I was much happier and less conflicted when I accepted and embraced this part of me.
10. When you start to care less, but in a very, very good way. You’re better at focusing on what actually matters to you, and less about the broader noise of what’s going on around you. You no longer want elusive perfection, have fewer expectations, and stopped giving energy to what others think. And it feels good, girl. Yesssss. You are a badass, time for another black leather jacket.