Zen-ish Family Travel

Family travel is a maelstrom of swirling unpredictables. That’s both the magic and maddening aspect of adventures with your lovelies. Travelling with a family is by nature that antithesis of Zen. It’s like asking a shark not to be a pescatarian. Last time I checked we are not a family of monks. But when planning any trip, I hope we have quiet moments of wonder and awe about ourselves, each other, and the world we live in.

Try zen travel with these. Even in the silence of a picture you can see they are loud, crazy, opinionated, guffawing, and did I say loud? Ya, try zenning up that mess.

Every family has its own culture, needs, personalities. Ours comes complete with three sets of female teen hormones and one fluctuating older set. That alone keeps it unpredictable even in the most serene locations. Our travel style has either evolved or devolved into having fewer concrete plans made in advance. Here are some other aspects that describe the travel culture in our family.

Not like Home
It’s not like home, that’s the whole point. We travel to experience and see things that are different from our status quo. That means it won’t look, talk, taste, smell, or act like home. Taking a step further is to love that it’s not like home, because that’s what makes it interesting.

But, Still Fun Like Home.
That being said, we continue to do the familiar activities our family loves, like going to movies, playing Carcassonne, Dutch Blitz, Bohnanza.

Internet
Wifi. Yes please, we’d like some more. A non-negotiable for everyone. We have zero interest in living off that grid. We stay connected to work, school, family, friends, and most importantly, Netflix. When we book a place we always look at the wifi reviews of previous guests. There should be a five star review system just for wifi strength and consistency. Only once did we sacrifice good wifi, but it was in exchange for volcanic hotsprings. Anything less exotic, not gonna happen.

Learn the Quick Redirect
Being flexible or not having expectations–that bell has been rung so many times out there, my ears hurt. We all know travelling is a mix of unfamiliar culture, transportation, food, language, service, and my biggest peeve–tampon choices. You may be lost more than you are found, have botched reservations, tired kids who have morphed into alien creatures. Even if you are a meticulous perfectionist-planner (yes that’s a type) a lot will go sideways. Just give your head a little tilt, breathe, and roll into the next best option. Learn to redirect quickly instead of spending time holding on to what should have happened. The kids will also get adept at redirection.

Laugh it Off
Hone or find your sense of humor, because it can get ugly out there, and it’s useful. When unexpected not-great things happen, find the humor in it and move on. The kids will appreciate that response as opposed to angry, stewing, complaining parents.

Small things make the strongest memories
The girls’ strongest memories are of many small moments that at the time seem insignificant to the Eiffel Tower ones. Such as walking to the bakery every morning to pick up baguettes in Southern France.

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing
The main thing is to enrich the bonds of your family by exploring the world and its people. Whether all the details fit together perfectly is peripheral, so don’t let them dictate the mood if they tank.

When in Rome, it’s ok to nap.
It’s still a vacation. As much as you want to see every historical site in 15 countries in two weeks, exhaustion will set in. Always monitor the energy level of the group. If they are tired it doesn’t matter what you put in front of them it won’t be absorbed or appreciated. The day we saw the Collosseum we were exhausted. I remember standing in front of it with tired kids writhing at our
feet. I held on to my sanity by a shaky thread thinking, I guess that’s interesting, but some shade and a cold drink would be more interesting. If everyone is exhausted, then stay home, take naps, veg, let them plug-into screens, recharge. Tomorrow the Collosseum will be magnificent again.

Wine and Gelato
It’s no secret that to raise the zen level of any experience simply add wine and gelato. Administer together or separately, that’s personal. When the family needs a pick-me-up (or calm-me-down), pull over and administer. Just make sure you give the right treat to the right person.