The church next door has added a 7:30 a.m. Saturday service. Oh yes, my teen is ultra-appreciative. In case you’ve lost count, that means they do an evening service 7 days a week and 2 early, early morning services on weekends. Same preacher, same musicians and singers. How is that for commitment and stamina. Kier couldn’t sleep in.
Kier and I went out for breakfast, Madi and I went out for a walk later.
Cali’s feeling much better. Her friend called and asked if she wanted to have a sleepover tonight, she was thrilled. She packed more stuff for her teddy bear than for herself and we set off on the bike.
Kier had her guitar lesson. Great teacher. He may be one of the few people here who makes a decent living as a musician. He’s amazing to listen to. Her teacher said she has been to 3 lessons in a row which makes her…a unusually dedicated student. He says it doesn’t happen very often that people keep their appointments. I believe that. People often don’t show up for planned events, without a phone call. Always makes me wonder if they are being appropriately Guate-late or if they’re a no show. It’s difficult for a gringo to get used to. There are usually good, unexpected reasons why this happens, but culturally it’s not unusual for people to no-show for appointments. The gringos who have transplanted here and who own businesses, drives them crazy. But the people from here don’t get worked up about no-shows.
Kier’s been working hard on an online course she is finishing for school. She’ll be happy when she’s finished with that one. It will give her more time to practice guitar and read, two things she has been looking forward to.
On the way home from dropping her off, I saw an indigenous wedding procession to the church. Several people have told me that weddings aren’t popular with the indigenous people here. They are more likely to have babies and move in with each other, find the ceremony unnecessary.
I’ve never seen a wedding. The young woman had on her traditional long wrap skirt, a white blouse, like they often wear. These were nice everyday clothes, nothing unusual. The only difference was that she had a veil and was carrying some white and yellow flowers. She was walking with a man who was likely her father. There was a small crowd walking with her, all wearing their everyday clothes. People were smiling, but quiet. Frankly, it was not unlike the funeral I saw last week. I don’t know if that is the norm of if the circumstances of this particular wedding dictated the mood. They walked up to a church which was decorated with some cloth draped across the ceiling, two small garden bouquets at the front of the church along with a 3-piece band. Wish I could have seen the service.
Madi and I were going to go into town to listen to Kier’s guitar teacher’s band, but when she saw that one of the Harry Potter movies was on tv in English, she quickly changed her mind. So we stayed in.
When taking a teen for a cross-cultural experience, you never know what will unfold. There are many cultural differences, both in what is acceptable interaction between the teenagers, how and where they interact, and choices that have to be made by me as to whether or not I feel comfortable with her plugging in. I don’t expect everyone to necessarily agree with my decisions, but they are mine to make.
The neighbor guy who is Kier’s age came over to say hi. He is the big brother of one of Kier’s closer girlfriends from when we lived here last time and is going to school in Germany this year. Later they walked into town to join the rest of the group at their regular Saturday night place.
There are a lots of cultural differences with how the teens relate socially. One of the most obvious ones is how they are much more open with each other about who they like romantically. Disclosure is almost a requirement for group membership. The group (made up of both guys ane girls) must know who you like or at least who you’re leaning toward. Everyone discloses. If you try to keep it private they hound you mercilessly until you spill. Privacy on romantic interests is simply not acceptable behavior.
Very different from our culture at home. Who someone is crushing on is extremely private information–something to confide to your closest girlfriend or your diary. Your girlfriend is supposed to take that info to her grave and likewise you also guard her secrets.
Here the attitude is much more open, not as much fear of rejection even though the odds are the same. Afterall, they reason, how will people get together if the other person doesn’t know you’re interested? It’s just more information about you, similar to what kind of ice cream you like or when your birthday is. It’s simply a part of who you are and afterall, your friends should know who you are. I remember this from the last time we lived here. After Kier was in school for a week, the other kids kept asking her who she liked. She kept telling them no one, and they found it both difficult to believe and insulting that out of all of them, no one interested her. The way the kids communicate openly about this remains the status quo for this visit. It may even be amplified a bit more since they are of dating age now.
So last night both the girls and the guys kept asking Kier, “So who do you like?” She kept saying she isn’t interested in anyone here. Again they found that hard to believe, even though it’s true. Perhaps they feel it’s an insult to the selection they have to offer. History repeating itself. She’s not here for that and they also don’t understand how extremely protective she is of her heart, always has been. She’s also not into dancing with guys who ask her to dance, isn’t interested, which the other girls don’t get since to them it’s just a dance.
Another cultural difference is that the girls here are hyper protective of their boyfriends. In our culture it’s usually not the coolest thing to admit you’re a jealous person. Some people may interpret that as an insecurity of a lack of trust or paranoia. It’s cooler if you have faith in your bf not cheating on you and give him some freedom.
Not here. Girls display their jealously like huge colorful waving flags, hanging out and flapping for aall to see. He’s your man, don’t give him any rope to hang himself. I mean those guys aren’t allowed to even breathe in another girl’s direction. No way would they be able to walk with another girl somewhere or text another girl, that’s practically cheating. Surprised me a little bit just how tight the relationship reins are here, at this young age. The only reason the neighbor guy actually came over and said hi and walked downtown with Kier was because his gf was away. After that he told K if she was ever asked by anyone, could she please say that they just coincidentally met outside the house going to the same place. Because if he had offered to walk her into town, his gf would freak because she is the jealous type. Kier did have a good evening. Two of the girls she really liked warmed up to her once they believed she really wasn’t in the market of finding a guy down here. Once she wasn’t a threat competition anymore, the girls warmed right up to her. But on the flip side, two boys were mad at her that she isn’t interested. They aren’t speaking to her, to which she says, “That’s incredibly mature. Just get over it.” She said that to me, not them, although she may say it to them if they keep on giving her the silent treatment. I think there may be more drama in her friend group here than at home, no I’m sure there is more.
Whatever country we live in, there is always some drama going on. Perhaps that’s simply the nature of the teen years. Kier is also keeping up with friends at home and the drama going on with them at school. She is doing Guate drama and cyber drama from home. Way too much drama for me, but she seems to take it all in stride.
Until tomorrow.