Etiquette is like language, always changing, evolving or devolving, depending on who you ask. It’s also regional, used inconsistently, and sometimes has so many exceptions to the rule, you hesitate to even define it. On the flip side, I find other traveler’s etiquette advice helpful, so will add my own observations. As always, your most effective strategy to fit in, is to simply be observant and follow suit.
Greetings
– No hugs. Apparently there isn’t even a french word for it.
– There is a two, sometimes three kiss system in place. But wait until you get a local friend before using it.
Greeting people when you walk into a shop and before you ask questions is key. Saying goodbye, also key.
Dress
– No shorts unless it’s exercise related.
– Most don’t dress as casually as we’re accustomed to.
– They like their dark colors.
Metro
– Pretend the metro is an American library and you won’t be far off. Talk quietly and only when you need to. It’s not a place for dramatic conversations and hearty laughter, phone conversations, eating and drinking.
– Stand to the side of the doors so people can exit before you enter the car.
– When the car gets to be more full, you are in a flip up seat and stand.
– They rarely talk on the phone in the cars, but if they do they do so quietly.
– People rarely text while walking in the corridors.
– As usual, stand single file to the right on escalators.
– Don’t stop walking in the middle of the fast paced flow, unless you want a scolding from a stranger.
– Hold exit flip door open if it’s not automatic and there is a person coming directly behind you.
In Restaurants
– The check will come only when you ask for it, the tax and tip are included.
– French put their bread on the table not their plate.
– In more formal meals people put their hands on the table not in their lap.
– Glasses are filled half full or half empty, you choose.
– In friend’s homes it’s rude not to finish everything on your plate.
– Some restaurants have tables designated for patrons only having drinks and desserts and others for meals. Often you seat yourself. If you want drinks only, sit at tables without place settings. If you’re eating a meal, sit at one with the proper number of place settings or they may make you move, even if it’s just to one table over. Often it takes a while to be acknowledged and may need to eventually flag someone down to order. Once, after being seated at a table, we sat for over a half an hour to order lunch. Eventually, a staff person told the French women sitting next to us who were also confused, that they only start serving it at 12:30. But they often won’t tell you what’s going on, and have no discomfort in just letting you sit there steeped in confusion.
In Shops
– Always greet the shop owner or anyone, for that matter, before you ask a question.
– Most money transactions are done on a tray. That’s where you put cash down and pick up change.
– Say good-bye before you leave.
At Markets
– This can be confusing. Sometimes, the vendor doesn’t want you to touch the fruit, other times it seems ok if you pick what you want and bag it. You can point and if they hand you a bag, then that’s a solid green light to select your own, or simply hang back to see what others do for that particular vendor. In larger supermarkets you will need to weigh and price your own fruit before taking it to the checkout.
– In case you plan to hold up finger numbers to assist in your transaction, remember our hand sign for ok means zero.
